I have said so many times lately...but it is worth saying again...where I am now...how far I have come this year alone...amazes me. This time last year, I was grasping on to something that just wasn't there...I was making the best of what I had and could...but struggling on so many levels. The complete changes God has brought about in my life in the last 12 months...truly amaze me.
I wouldn't wish the first half of this year on anyone...there was so much pain...hurt...anger...bitterness...just so much that I hate that I had to go through. So much I am still going through at times...but the last half of this year...although not easy in many ways - has brought me so much love and forgiveness and PEACE. Each day as I wake up and go through my routine and live my life...I have questions and I have pain to muddle through sometimes...but I have peace that I am where I need to be.
Today, I have sat here in my home with half of my kids...4 children that bless me in ways I can't even describe. And I just feel amazed at how much God loves me. Not only has he given me these children to be a part of my life...but he also gave me this wonderful man, my Beau, to share the rest of my life with. God loved me enough to give me parents who raised me to love him...who raised me the best that they knew how and who have always been there for me...no matter how much I hurt them or how I failed.
I am Blessed. I have a sister who is my best friend...even if we did torture each other when I was little. And I have friends in my life...some who have been there for the birth of my children...who have listened and reprimanded me when I needed it...who have hugged me...held me...threatened to smack me...provided for me...prayed for me...
I am Blessed.
And today - I baked cookies with my kids...broke up fights...wiped noses and bottoms...opened endless packages of crackers...sliced apples...peeled oranges...watched cartoons...gave hugs and received kisses..cleaned up endless messes..and had the time of my life.
This is my life...each precious day that God gives me...the days with my children...the days with my Beau...the days with my parents and my sister and my friends...this is my life. And I am blessed.
I love being a homemaker. I love learning how to make our dollars stretch farther. I love teaching my son. I love my life. And I am so glad for all the things I have been Blessed with this year!