Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship & Life Together - Book Review

I may not currently be married, but I have been – and in a serious committed relationship as I am, I thought this book would be a good choice to read, review and discover a few insights about how to make things better.  When Thomas Nelson Book Sneeze Review program had this book available I was glad to give it a thorough going over and a proper review. 

Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship & Life Together by Mark and Grace Driscoll is yet another book out there about how to make the most of your marriage relationship.   As has become typical in marriage books, this one is setup in some ways as a “his” and “hers” guide.   This is mostly due to the fact that the authors (who are married) share their viewpoints separately in many cases.   The book is easy to read and well written (always a thumbs up in my book if I don’t find it boring or tedious to get through).  Mark Driscoll is a well-known pastor and author who counseled couples for many years regarding the very problems listed in this book.  His wife Grace joins him in this endeavor sharing her own opinions, views and personal struggles within their marriage.  I appreciate the honesty and the forthrightness they both showed in opening up about things they had problems with that most in leadership positions would shy away from having public. 

The book covers topics such as making your spouse your friend, adjusting to life together and dealing with past sexual relationships and how they affect your current marriage/relationship.  The standards set in this book are truly high and super conservative.  Although I agree with suggestions and thoughts for the most part, I do know that this book could be a bit over the top on the conservative in some instances.  Yet, surprisingly – I found the chapters on sexuality within the marriage to be very open – honest and much more liberal than expected (actually along the line of my own views).  There was much talk of being open with your spouse about ALL past sexual relationships/instances/experiences, and although I understand and agree that you should be open, I also feel some things are best left unsaid.  I was impressed with how well the Driscoll’s addressed what could be considered some of the trickier sexual topics such as oral sex, anal sex and role play.  Things that in mainstream society are not “tricky” but the norm, yet in Christian circles could/can/are still considered taboo. 

Do I think this book is a cure to your marriage problems?  Not at all.  I do think it is a good read for someone thinking of getting married and a good book for newly married young Christians.  Most of the items discussed within the pages are things I felt were more or less common sense questions/issues, but the suggestions within could be helpful to someone who is new to a marriage or serious relationship.  I don’t find that it would be particularly helpful to those who have married for longer periods of time – most of the things discussed are items I feel most couples would understand or learn within the first couple of years of their marriage.  So couples who have been married longer have probably already gotten past these hurdles.  

Overall, it’s a decent book on marriage and I give it 3 ½ stars.  It’s easy to read and well written but I don’t find anything in it that just “pops” and makes me think – “oh I want to suggest this to such and such!”. 

**Thanks as always to Thomas Nelson Book Sneeze Review program for the opportunity to review this book.  I was not monetarily compensated for this review.  I received the book mentioned above in exchange for my honest review on this blog.